Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Just random thoughts

The making of mini me…

I noticed the other day, yesterday, if you really have to know a man and his son.  I’ve noticed a lot of father and son combination and why this one stuck out at this particular time I can’t say why other than they were exceptional.  I could tell this little man wanted to be like his dad OR that his dad was raising him to be like himself.  The dad have a camo shirt on with a normal baseball hat.  The kid had a red shirt on with a camo hat.  The way they interacted I knew he was a decent dad to the kid.  The kid even helped load the groceries into the cart which I thought was pretty cool.  So I followed them out of the store and followed their car home to their house…  Nah, just kidding.  I saw the dad high five the little kid on the way out though and could tell they were so proud of each other.

This got me to thinking about my son.  This made me think about the image I’m raising my son in and I took a look at what hes turning out to be and I wonder how much I am influencing him to turn out like me.  I know the little man loves me and I love the little man to death and beyond but the way he is turning out isn’t the way I thought.  I love him and hes smart but hes lazy, and addicted to video games.  Its probably the way I was when I was a teen.  I used to lve going outside and being outside and being around animals.  Then we got a Nintendo and I started playing video games and around that same time-ish I started watching the after school carton lineup.  Looking back I think I was the kid on the floor with the bag of chips watching tv until dinner(or supper) was ready.  After eating I forget what my routine was.  Ah, the days before the internet….

I’m still figuring out this fatherhood thing and I have to say, playing it by ear sucks.  They don’t have a manual but I want to do my kid right.  I used to want to exploit his gifts but then I went through a phase of he will turn out to be his own person anyway.  Hes a good little man but hes not up to par with other kids on a lot of levels.  Like I just learned the other day that hes scared of the monkey bars.  This honestly bothers me.  It really does.  I want to make him do them so that he can learn that he can do them but I can’t force him.  I need to work with him.  I honestly don’t know what to do in this situation though, I really don’t….

The sites outlook…

Ok, so I want to be honest here.  I have always struggled with running a website, as with many hobbies in my life.  I get the gung ho to do this thing and then it fizzles.

This site will be maintained for the time that I have subscribed to my host(2 years?) but after that I don’t know.  I look at the stats on the back end of this thing and see people coming here but I don’t trust the numbers and I’m not sure what your looking at, other than the maps.

I’m not looking to become a millionare off this site.  This site was supposed to be something my friends and I were to share in and its turned out to just be me doing this thing.  Its not so much a burden as I enjoy running a site but its more of a time sink to update with actual good content.

A few things are going on in my life that are keeping me from updating as much as I want and its all drama drama.  I have a family and kids and a job and all that.  I want to start up a few hobbies that I’ve wanted to for awhile but I have a time crunch on those also.  I’ve wanted to try my hand at metal working.  I want to make youtube channels for my kids.  I want to video game and read comics.  I also struggle very bad with internet addiction where I spend to much of my time on the internet and I feel like a piece of shit because of it.  Much like video games.  I start a game, get like 10-15 hours into it then stop and want to pick it up again a month or so later but forgot how to play and I just don’t do it.  I also feel like gaming isn’t adding anything to my life, my actual life.  Like when I die I’ll just have these fake memories of games I’ve played.

Anyways, I have some stress going on in my life and thats keeping me from solidly updating and to anyone actually coming here looking for updates, I apologize.  I want to do this but at this point this is about 3/4 to the bottom of my priority list.

BUT – I will say if you want to leave some comments somewhere saying something that might help reenergize me it might help.  Honestly I don’t trust these logs so I don’t even know if I have an audience or not or I’m just posting this to the ether.